This week in class we began reading "Mastery" by George Leonard. I quickly read my assigned chapters and then made my husband Phil read them. I can already tell this will become part of our language as other books have.
In the first chapter of the book, George Leonard describes the process of mastery using tennis as an analogy. He talks about the monotonous drills and exercises required before your body eventually develops muscle memory and you are able to move to the next move. He describes progress as a series of climaxes and plateaus and the importance of each. It reminded me of my quest to master the art of homemaking. Some people might roll their eyes at this goal but when I was first married I realized that I didn't have the first clue. Growing up, the state of our house, laundry and meals were a constant source of stress and contention. I did not want to repeat this pattern in my marriage with my husband. At first I stressed to my husband that house management didn't matter. That we needed to be content with the chaos. My husband didn't argue but just did all the chores without complaint. I didn't like this and felt like I wasn't pulling my weight. I then tried to act as if I had mastered the art of housekeeping. I was obsessive and exhausted. I had the worse attitude and resented how easily picking things up and organizing came to my husband. I then decided that I was just not an organized person and that was just the way it was. Thankfully I have learned that if I say the phrase, "I am not good at...", I have trained myself to examine myself and to pray. Why? Because the only label in my life that is of worth is that I am a daughter of God. I can become master of anything if my Heavenly Father needs me to. I prayed and received the following counsel, "Stop comparing your talents to your husband. Of course he is able to clean and organize a home, he had a great teacher in his mother and he has now practiced the art for twenty-five years. You on the other hand are a infant in this skill, less than an infant because you need to repent of the habits and attitudes that you have developed. You need to learn this skill but you need to do it correctly and it will take time. Again, You should not compare yourself to others or give up." This answer was a revelation! I needed to let go of pride and ego and allow myself to start from the beginning and be willing to listen to the Master as he guided me to the best teachers and practices. I found books on food, laundry, organizing and cleaning house. I asked women whose skills I admired what they did. As I studied, the Holy Ghost prompted which were the correct ones for me to use. I began my drills. My husband and I adopted the language of patience with beginners. I would say things like, "Look at my progress, I am four months old today." We only had to look at our own child to realize that to outsiders four month olds seem fairly helpless but we knew that all the work they had done to that point.
I am now twelve years old at keeping a house. During my work to master this skill I have had plateaus and climaxes. I am proud and happy to report that I am on my way to mastery. Our first apartment was messy, chaotic and stressful and we didn't even have children yet. Now our home does not take much of my time and I can focus on other areas to master. We have been blessed with more and have five children and I am able to keep up with our stewardship in this area. I am grateful for the counsel of my Savior to repent, let go of pride and start from the beginning. I felt His love and encouragement as I practiced drill after drill. I have faith in His ability to guide me to mastery.
In the first chapter of the book, George Leonard describes the process of mastery using tennis as an analogy. He talks about the monotonous drills and exercises required before your body eventually develops muscle memory and you are able to move to the next move. He describes progress as a series of climaxes and plateaus and the importance of each. It reminded me of my quest to master the art of homemaking. Some people might roll their eyes at this goal but when I was first married I realized that I didn't have the first clue. Growing up, the state of our house, laundry and meals were a constant source of stress and contention. I did not want to repeat this pattern in my marriage with my husband. At first I stressed to my husband that house management didn't matter. That we needed to be content with the chaos. My husband didn't argue but just did all the chores without complaint. I didn't like this and felt like I wasn't pulling my weight. I then tried to act as if I had mastered the art of housekeeping. I was obsessive and exhausted. I had the worse attitude and resented how easily picking things up and organizing came to my husband. I then decided that I was just not an organized person and that was just the way it was. Thankfully I have learned that if I say the phrase, "I am not good at...", I have trained myself to examine myself and to pray. Why? Because the only label in my life that is of worth is that I am a daughter of God. I can become master of anything if my Heavenly Father needs me to. I prayed and received the following counsel, "Stop comparing your talents to your husband. Of course he is able to clean and organize a home, he had a great teacher in his mother and he has now practiced the art for twenty-five years. You on the other hand are a infant in this skill, less than an infant because you need to repent of the habits and attitudes that you have developed. You need to learn this skill but you need to do it correctly and it will take time. Again, You should not compare yourself to others or give up." This answer was a revelation! I needed to let go of pride and ego and allow myself to start from the beginning and be willing to listen to the Master as he guided me to the best teachers and practices. I found books on food, laundry, organizing and cleaning house. I asked women whose skills I admired what they did. As I studied, the Holy Ghost prompted which were the correct ones for me to use. I began my drills. My husband and I adopted the language of patience with beginners. I would say things like, "Look at my progress, I am four months old today." We only had to look at our own child to realize that to outsiders four month olds seem fairly helpless but we knew that all the work they had done to that point.
I am now twelve years old at keeping a house. During my work to master this skill I have had plateaus and climaxes. I am proud and happy to report that I am on my way to mastery. Our first apartment was messy, chaotic and stressful and we didn't even have children yet. Now our home does not take much of my time and I can focus on other areas to master. We have been blessed with more and have five children and I am able to keep up with our stewardship in this area. I am grateful for the counsel of my Savior to repent, let go of pride and start from the beginning. I felt His love and encouragement as I practiced drill after drill. I have faith in His ability to guide me to mastery.
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